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Alysia and Babs and I love you back!

At first I thought that was Alysia and Barbara kissing and I was like OMG O:  But unfortunately not. :(



"you’re obsessed with your mental illness"

i know right? it’s almost like it impacts every part of my life

"it’s all in your head"

I know right? it’s almost like it’s a mental illness

"why do you let it affect you and stop you from being able to do things?"

I know right? It’s almost like it’s an ACTUAL ILLNESS

(Source: ghostielevi)

Transgender and Gender-Diverse Individuals with Eating Disorders



T-FFED: Trans Folx Fighting Eating Disorders is asking for a huge signal boost on this research! This is the FIRST (big, historical, important first!) ever collaboration between a trans health org and the eating disorder research community! We’ve partnered with student researcher Mary Duffy of the University of Saint Joseph to develop this awesome, meaningful and gender-literate survey that will give the mainstream ED sphere a much more inclusive and in-depth picture of how EDs affect our trans and gender-diverse communities, the obstacles we face in accessing effective care, and how ED therapists and facilities can better serve our needs. If this speaks to your experience, please take the survey yourself (or answer as much of it as pertains to you) before reblogging! 

Representation in research is crucial for ED healthcare professionals to develop more gender-literate assessment tactics, therapeutic modules and trans-friendly policies in recovery facilities, as well as demonstrating how our communities are affected by discrimination/exclusions and structural oppressions in accessing proper care. Current research is super problematic in language, lack of gender and racial/ethnic diversity, the dangerous assertion of the transition-as-cure narrative, generalizing case studies, ignoring structural forces that contribute to our inability to access or afford ED treatment and assuming trans and gender-diverse communities struggle with EDs in attempts to conform to heteronormative/cissexist standards of beauty.

The mainstream ED sphere is finally LISTENING to us; let’s tell them what we need!

Reblogging for extra signal boost- if you haven’t yet seen this awesome and innovative research survey, please check it out and share in your trans/gender-diverse networks! Huuuuge thanks!!! <3

As a trans person who is currently struggling with ED recovery and freaking out about what’s going on with my body because there’s so little research about what ED recovery might look like in trans patients, I really really want to spread this around and hopefully as many trans people as possible can participate in this.  I look all around the web for help, and all I can find is ED science about cis men and women, and I have no clue how this applies to my body and my experiences.  In general, my experiences have so far gone right along with cis women’s, but I’m stlil scared, and knowledge helps to assuage fears. 

So please, reblog this, spread this around, and hopefully a lot of people feel comfortable participating, because it’s really important to trans people now struggling with eating disorders, and especially for future trans people who might feel as lost and scared as me right now and would be helped by ED knowledge that specifically is about them.


Conversation I had with a therapist nearly every damn session:

Snail: I can’t take pills. I’m terrified of pills because of (x). I don’t even take tylenol unless it’s in liquid form.

Therapist: But if you got over your fear of pills and took antidepressants, your life would be so much better!

Snail: That would be why I am here, yes.

Therapist: So why don’t you try taking antidepressant pills right now?!

Conversation I never had with that therapist:

Snail: I can’t take pills. I’m terrified of pills because of (x). I don’t even take tylenol unless it’s in liquid form.

Therapist: Did you know you can get a prescription for several common antidepressants in liquid form?

Snail: I did not know that! That sounds much less frightening and maybe like something I can do!

I am so sick of therapists that do this.  And also sick of the idea in our society in general that it’s always a “good” thing to force people to do things that they’re not comfortable with, even if there’s no real need to to accomplish what they want, just because well, they need to overcome their fears right?  It’s more important to bang your head on a locked door that you insist cannot be unlocked, than to use a door that’s open, because it’s just IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO THE HARDER THING.

It’s so f-ed up.  It’s dismissive of people’s agency and also self-knowledge.  It’s incredibly entitled.  And it’s also buying into this thing we have in society that doing painful, difficult things is an objective good in and of itself.  That suffering means progress, even if you’re not actually progressing anywhere.  And if you can accomplish stuff without forcing yourself to go through pain, then you’re lazy, and not really accomplishing anything.

It’s so gross. >:\  And esp when it’s a therapist who is supposed to help you live YOUR life.  I told this to a really bad therapist of mine in the past, it’s not his life, it’s mine, and at the end of the day, I have to live it, not him, so he’s there to HELP me not turn me into whatever he thinks I SHOULD be.  Therapists should help you move towards goals you want to in ways that work for you, not fix you like a mechanic to a car.


Decided to make a handy graphic after seeing a lot of misinformation spread around tumblr. Current science isn’t perfect and definitions are bound to change, but I wanted to push back against the hostile attitude against it because it seems like a lot of people are being hostile for the wrong reasons.

Please let me know if there are any factual errors, thank you :)

Useful and easy to understand explanation for people wondering what’s going on with Pluto :)


I think kids who aren’t disabled should get accomodations in school, if it helps them. 

I think it doesn’t always make a difference whether someone is officially disabled or just- can’t do some stuff. I don’t think you should treat someone badly for not being able to do stuff. 

I think “acting weird” should just be okay, in general. If a person without autism is wearing noise cancelling headphones and flapping their hands, that’s okay, because there’s nothing wrong with wearing noise cancelling headphones and flapping your hands.

I think it would be better for disabled people if we did less “think twice about being mean to people who are behaving weirdly, they might have autism” type stuff and more “why would you be mean to someone who is being weird. Why would you do that. There’s nothing wrong with being weird, there is something wrong with being mean”

All of this.

I’m having a lot of trouble getting accommodations at school right now due to not having an official diagnosis (for a variety of reasons, including having a hard time finding therapy that is not crappy about trans people, rape, and eating disorders together), and it’s just really frustrating how many barriers are set up and how strict they are.  Like, who cares if people don’t have a disability and want to do their essays in a room away from everybody else?  Either a) this doesn’t really help them, in which case there’s nothing to worry about or b) it helps them because they work better this way, so how is this “cheating?”.  This should be about students learning and stuff right?  NOT supposedly about torturing people and forcing them to be uncomfortable (except, it is because our society equates pain and discomfort with growth and virtue, which is disgusting, but a topic for another time).  Who cares if somebody who does not fit some DSM definition of disability wants a little more time on a due date because they’ve stressed themselves out (or maybe even were “lazy”).  MAYBE DUE DATES ARE ARBITRARY ANYWAY AND ARE PUT TOO CLOSE TOGETHER.  Maybe the entire school system is arbitrary and rather than going “NO EVERYBODY MUST SUFFER UNLESS YOU PROVE TO ME THAT WE SHOULD TAKE PITY ON YOU”, we make a more inclusive and accommodating system so people do not have to beg and claw for you to take pity on us! 

One of the courses I’m taking asked students if we should have classes where there is no teacher but students learn playing video games (which presumably have educational material in it).  I said that no person is the same, and the question shouldn’t be whether this should be the case for EVERYBODY, but that it could help many people who are more tactile learners (like me).  But in general we should question the way we educate students, and what we see as default, and how we create a society that’s exclusive to only a very specific kind of person who learns and works well in very specific situations.  Everybody else in the course was immediately like “NO, there would be chaos if we changed the way we teach!” and that “if students learn better in another way, they can talk to the teacher and maybe get some special attention.”

And that last statement just really crystalized the entire problem to me.  Our society doesn’t want to include everybody, and we’re trained to see it that way, to see that as being the most sensible way to do things.  Rather than allowing everybody an equal opportunity to succeed by accommodating the differences in people, we make society for one specific kind of person, and force everybody else to get “special attention”.  It puts the privileged people (the ones society is created for) in the position of power, and that we must hope they give us scraps to get by (which often people call “privileges” in a sick reversal).  And it’s seen as totally normal, because well, that’s just how things are done, and if you did things differently people would TAKE ADVANTAGE, which basically means “then people might actually be equal, and THEN WHAT”.   It’s total bullshit, and it’s arbitrary.

The other thing is I’m getting tired of the “well if you actually are part of the marginalized group, then okaaay” thing as articulated in the above post.  This applies to a lot of the way I see things discussed.  Like people making fun of men by attacking their penises (which they associate with men) and then saying disclaimers like “cis men”, like it magically means trans women wouldn’t read that and feel body shamed, or “only if you’re a man” or even “don’t do this because it hurts trans women”.  How about instead of worrying about whether you accidentally hurt a trans woman by body shaming men, & how to differentiate between cis men & trans men & non-men maab people, etc, you just DON’T BODY SHAME PEOPLE.

Just like instead of worrying whether “real” disabled people might be hurt by making fun of weird people, don’t make fun of people.  It’s… really frustrating and doesn’t really display that much compassion to me.  It means that the person WANTS to be uncaring of somebody’s feelings, just not certain groups they feel bad for, so, let’s try not to hit them while we fire our cannons okay?

Or, just keep your powder dry.  Is it really worth it?

Donation Post 2.0 - Help Us Stay Housed! (URGENT)


Keeping this brief, since the original donation post and updates got very TL;DR (and I’m also exhausted and need to go back to semi-catching up on work + engage in self-care), ‘but’-

My partner and I need at least $100 in donations before the end of the month or we’ll lose housing.

Rent is (and I was off by a day in the last of my updates on the old post) due by 5 pm local time on October 1 and the speed with which the complex cashes the checks can vary, so the amount to make it to the new, increased rent amount really needs to be donated, transferred over, and waiting in my bank account by then.

The complex could cash the check the next day or they could take a few days (or even do it after the weekend), but I don’t want to bet on that and then have the rent check bounce.

So, in the spirit of keeping this brief and easy to read, here is the relevant donation info, + more details below that. :)

PayPal: the e-mail address to use is


(preferred method due to constraints on my partner’s PayPal account b/c he’s unbanked, but only has full functionality inside the U.S.)


(doesn’t actually help until next week, since Patreon pays out once the month is over, but if you want to and can, this is a good way to pass me a tip to help us get through October - good/bad is there is most likely only going to be one more post for September)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

All of this is also calculated with no thought to buying groceries or otherwise getting food or to doing anything other than getting one last tank of gas in the car (which it needs + which I can currently do) and getting enough donations in to write the rent check Wednesday and not have it bounce.

This really isn’t great, since there is also an already slightly late payment to make for the combined auto/renter’s insurance of $160, ignored auto loan payments (that you can read about more here in my very first post, where I explain things more fully), and the matters of eating and day to day expenses. Plus a fresh month coming up to survive through.

Not losing housing is the most critical issue at the moment though.

But, if we get to that goal and/or you can help out a bit more, help with getting food now and with taking care of that remaining September bill and better being able to handle October expenses would be ‘awesome’. :)

And I think that’s it, since I said this was going to be a brief post. :)

So, big big thank you to everyone who has donated and signal boosted so far (because I wouldn’t even be able to ask for help making the new, increased rent amount without the help they’ve already given) and extra big thanks to the awesome owner of Escher Girls, Ami Angelwings, who has been a huge help in our attempts to get help. :)

Signal boosting this to hopefully help them get the little bit more that they need.  Even if you can’t help, consider reblogging this just in case anybody else might be able to.  They’re good people and were supportive of me when I was dealing with all that stuff involving Escher Girls this summer.

Crock Pot Recipes for Fall and Winter


I love cooking hearty dishes, and warm treats in the Fall and Winter, which is why I also love slow cooker recipes. So here is massive list of recipes that are great for this time of year!

Soups, Stews, and Entrées

Desserts and Sweet Treats



Saving this for future reference. :3  Also for people who might also be interested.  And for aesmael <3

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